Rhiannon Hill, Psychotherapy & Counselling

Frequently Asked Questions

If you are in Brighton, Lewes, Hove, Portslade, Southwick, Shoreham by Sea, Rottingdean, Peacehaven and Lewes, you can easily access my practice in East Brighton. I am five minutes' walk from Moulsecombe station and on major bus routes.

Directions

Lower Bevendean by car or bicycle is easily accessible from central Brighton and is ten to fifteen minutes drive from Lewes and Hove. Eastbound, leave the A27 at Hollingbury exit to Lewes Road. Westbound, take the A270 road into Brighton from Falmer. Then turn into The Avenue, opposite Brighton University campus Cockcroft and Watts buildings. From the A259 coast road turn into the city at Brighton Pier roundabout and follow the signs for Lewes for 2.83km. The 49A bus is frequent and stops right outside my door.

Attendance and Cost

Sessions can be weekly or fortnightly and my charges are from £40 for individuals and from £50 for couples.

All clients pay for the session on the day. I no longer accept cheques but you can use cash or PayPal in advance. Clients may have one week's break every two months otherwise all sessions must be paid for whether attended or not, but I am usually open to rescheduling within the same week.

Therapy is a two way commitment and I have set time slots for clients. I need 48 hours in advance for missed sessions in order that someone else may have the slot. Since therapy encourages responsible scheduling and commitment, work, family or childcare demands are not acceptable reasons for last minute cancellations.

If you are late for your therapy I cannot extend your hour.

People who are unwaged often ask me for a concession. I rarely take on concessionary clients.

I recommend fortnightly sessions for people on low income.

I sometimes work via phone or internet for anyone disabled or housebound but if you can get to me in person this is not a suitable option.

I can occasionally do home visits but only for people who cannot leave their home. Session rules still apply: quiet, private, confidential.

SKYPE or Voice Operated Internet Protocol is a FREE telephone service using your computer. You need an inexpensive headset with a microphone but most laptops and PCs have very good usable built-in microphones. Skype IS free, just go to www.skype.com to download.

Appointments: 8 am to 8.30 pm Monday to Thursday and some Saturdays between 9am and 12 noon.

CALL ME FOR AN INFORMAL CHAT ON 07931 363779.

'A big thankyou - I can't tell you how much it helped. I feel happier than I have felt in a very long time and more importantly I am not scared to tell people how I feel anymore. I am optimistic about life again and loking forward to every minute of what it has to offer.'C.W.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is my professional background?
I have been training and practising psychotherapy and counselling continuously for 20 years in private practice, in different agencies, clinics and via GP referral. I have worked with a large variety of people aged from 18 to 84, of both genders and all sexual orientations.

What are my qualifications?
I am qualified in the UK as an integrative person centred counsellor but also studied and graduated in holistic body centred psychotherapy with an Institute in Colorado USA and am one of only a few fully qualified body oriented therapists in the UK. I am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and abide by their code of ethics.

What are your ethics/philosophy?
I adhere to the principles of emotional non-violence, mindfulness, unity, holism and non judgment and the belief that each human organism is a meaningful, self organising entity.

I have been an accredited addiction counsellor and have worked with young people, domestic violence and HIV/Aids. I have engaged in further skill development in couple work, bereavement, sexual abuse and alcohol.

Who can benefit from therapy?
I do not work with people who have been diagnosed with serious psychiatric disorders. While psychotherapy is often useful for people suffering from 'label' mental health issues, it is best done in a multidisclipinary context to which, as a private practitioner, I do not have access.

Who monitors and supports me?
I have supervision when I need it.

FAQs

Q What is the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?

A It is mostly in the specific requirement of the client.

Counselling addresses current crises or issues to do with life stages or events with which we are struggling. It is supportive and enables us to cope by engaging someone with whom we can talk things through temporarily.

Psychotherapy addresses issues which may have been with us from our earliest environment. Sometimes psychotherapists help people uncover the reasons for current difficulties so we are really aiming at insight. This involves deeper self exploration.

Q How does it work?

A A contract is formed between the client and the therapist, a relationship, in which we work on issues together without judgment, with honesty, and mutual regard.

Q What kind of therapist are you?

A I use Integrative skills for both counselling and psychotherapy - drawing from many different tried and tested therapeutic styles.

I use a completely person centred approach, underpinned by a holistic, body centred method, which focuses on inner awareness or mindfulness, and uses a client's bodily structure, and sense of physical experience, to access information usually only available in the unconscious.

I do not adhere to any particular religious or belief system but my style is underpinned with Buddhist, Taoist and Native American spiritual philosophy, systems theory, body-mind theory and takes inspiration from other forms of therapy including Gestalt, NLP, Feldekrais, Gendler, Reichian theory, Bandler & Grinder and many other sources. Deep process psychotherapy is particularly effective for trauma and abuse issues.

Q When will my issues be solved?

A My clients are encouraged to begin to understand and take responsibility for their own process as soon as they are ready. But after therapy has ended it is possible to continue to build on the work that has been done with the psychotherapist or counsellor.

Q What sort of issues can be addressed?

A For most people, feeling unduly stressed or unhappy is the earliest symptom that something needs to be worked through. Stress is an overworked word, but it's a good word for general feelings of discomfort caused by circumstances we don't feel we can control.

Others begin therapy after a relationship breaks down or they reach a stage in life which presents difficulties they had not anticipated, life is frustrating, unsatisfying or we are concerned about our own responses to other people and environments.

Q Can I find out more about the process before committing to therapy?

A Yes. There is an opportunity to purchase my books for more information about counselling, psychotherapy and stress at work, just click on the Books & Articles link on the left hand menu.

Q Do clients have to come and see you in person?

A I also counsel online or using the telephone, for people who cannot leave home or travel for various reasons. I use secure messaging, either typing, Skype and webcam if you wish.

*I am unable to work with people currently misusing substances.

WHAT COUNSELLING IS

A safe place to discuss difficult emotional feelings

Somewhere you can get honest feedback without judgment

Somewhere where you can get support from a person with whom you have no other practical connections

Somewhere you can meet a person who can recognise where you need to go and gently encourage you to stay on track

A place to work with someone who doesn't need you, so has no personal agendas

A process in which another person will regard you as a unique, valuable human being

A healthcare contract with a person who can see when you are making enough improvements and let you go..


WHAT COUNSELLING IS NOT

It is not a rescue or panacea

I am not obliged to give practical advice or solutions

It is not a range of techniques to ‘fix’ all ills

It has no guaranteed outcome

It can result in enlightenment or acceptance and choices to change behaviours and responses.

CHOOSING YOUR THERAPIST

Who can I trust?

Your counsellor should be someone with varied life experience and who is emotionally stable enough to cope with a wide range of distress but also trained and experienced to a high level.

Will it work?

Counselling will never be an exact science - sometimes the benefits are not obvious in the short term. Human beings are incredibly unique and complex and counselling is not a panacea for all life's difficulties.

How do I know if my counsellor is competent?

Due to the need for confidentiality, it is difficult for us to gather testimonials! But much of my practice so far has resulted from word of mouth referral.

Will I have to tell the counsellor embarrassing or private things?

You don't have to provide specific details if you don't feel safe enough to do so. Feelings and general responses are more important.

However, if a client misrepresents themself, or does not inform me of previous serious psychiatric diagnoses, or that they are currently addicted, therapy may not be useful.

Why should I pay for counselling when I can get it free?

Some volunteer counsellors are very well trained and experienced. But would you like to see a doctor, or car mechanic or entrust your children to a schoolteacher who was just moonlighting as a volunteer? Being paid ensures that we can earn a living as counsellors and continue to learn and develop to meet the ever changing needs of our clients.

How long does it take?

Anything from a few weeks to a few months or even a year or two. This depends on many factors, on you, the issues and where you are in your life development. It will usually be possible to estimate how much counselling you'll need after a few sessions.

How will I know when to finish?

You can leave therapy at any time, of course, but when to complete your period of therapy is ideally be something which should be a joint decision between client and practitioner.

Why don't you work with addicted people?

Because my kind of counselling is not helpful to addicted people. Drinkers in particular need a range of support from organisations like Alcoholics Anonymous and NHS substance misuse services.

Why don't you work with under-18s?

Because for people who are not yet fully mature, ordinary psychotherapy and counselling can actually be unhelpful. Young people with serious issues are best seen in family therapy where possible.

WHAT IS THERAPY?

I am absolutely passionate about psychotherapy.

I would encourage everyone to consider the possibility that one day they might decide to have some psychotherapy.

While it can be argued that very few people actually need psychotherapy, I believe that everyone could use some!

Many people would never consider therapy. But it may be because they think it’s something to do with being mentally unwell, weak, or in some sort of distress that they should be able to cope with. They feel having therapy is somehow shameful.

But this is a very limited view of what psychotherapy can offer.

It’s true that there are people who are psychologically unwell or in distress. I work with people like that all the time. I never see them as weak. You know, terrible things can happen to anyone, and not everyone can overcome difficult issues alone. I really love and care for the people I work with, and 99 per cent of them come to the end of the process very happy that they got up the courage to avail themselves of the full benefits of my attention. The 1 per cent? Well, some people just find it too difficult. And I can’t fix that.

But working with painful stuff is not the whole of what therapists do.

Therapy consumers roughly fall into three groups: the psychologicaly unwell, the temporarily distressed, and people who just want personal development, or, personal growth work.

Most people with a bad toothache will seek out a dentist pretty fast. Very few people will yank out their own tooth, although it’s not unheard of. But, if you do that, you won’t get the dentists’ professional advice on how to avoid it happening again!

Most people in extreme distress do benefit dramatically from therapy. On the other hand, there’s little stigma with dentistry apart from the judgment that you ate too many sweets!

So, many people who could really benefit from therapy fail to take it up.

Now, if you have a slight chip in your tooth enamel, a small cavity, maybe a twinge now and then, lots of little niggling problems, you may put off going to the dentist as soon as it becomes obvious, but then, the problem is going to get worse.

Again, compare this with therapy. Many people, some as early in their twenties and thirties, realise that for some reason they are repeating negative and unsatisfying patterns in their relationship, lifestyle or work choices.

Take me. And I don’t mean in the Big Yellow Taxi. Seriously. I entered ‘therapy-world’ in my mid thirties.

I can assure everyone, that if you spoke to anyone who knew me then, and still knows me now, you’d be told two things: First, while I am far from perfect, I have completely changed and broadened my World View and a great deal of my behaviour, and two, that I am a much, much better person to be around now. I am physically and emotionally non violent, ethical, I am able to cope with a range of difficult realities, and I know my strengths and limitations much better.

This is because as part of my long training and practice to become a psychotherapist, I have done an awful lot of inner work myself. I know what my issues are, my hot buttons, I know when it feels right to me to engage and when I need to withdraw. I know that satisfaction does not last, and that happiness is not a right, but that it is an internal state rather than dependant on material things and other people.

This is in order to be clear about what is mine and what is the client’s issue – the spinoff is a huge amount of personal development.

This includes getting clear about how much you like yourself, what your true likes, dislikes and abilities are, setting boundaries around others, having much better relationships and relating skills, limiting excessive responses to stressful situations and those who deliberately create anxiety. Understanding what you can fix and what you can’t, and letting go of old wounds and hurts.

Now, back to the dentistry metaphor. The third group of therapy users are like people who want straight, healthy, white teeth. This is not absolutely necessary, but is something which they would regard as an asset.

These equate to the group of people I see in my practice who are pretty ok, but want to improve themselves. They want to know more about who they are, to figure out better ways of interacting with others and have a richer, more satisfying life.

Therapy at this level sometimes includes a look at a few difficult areas.

Mainly, it is aimed at evolving into someone you’d like to be. This does not mean programming IN something that wasn’t there. It is more like uncovering, peeling back the layers of stuff we don’t need.

Sometimes it’s about exploring your spiritual beliefs, your World beliefs, your self belief, all in a safe place, a place where you won’t be judged, or subjected to someone else’s views and opinion.

How unlike real life this is! How unlike every day of your life since you were born when people tried to impose their views, their needs, their wishes, their beliefs upon you.

So, here’s the thing. Those of you who know roughly how computers work may enjoy this metaphor.

I believe that we are born with a sort of hard drive. That is our Operating System. It’s got our genetic programming in it. It might be one or another brand of drive too – that represents the basic family into which we are born, our ethnic and geographical origin and perhaps even the position our family occupies in society.

Now, some people who are born get XP or Vista straight away. The right stuff. It works. It’s compatible with the other systems around it. Whenever they are given a particular piece of software by their parents or teachers, someone makes sure it works, that it’s up to date and has access to automatic updates.

But other people get discount, slightly out- of- date software from the dump bin at PC World.

It’s o.k... it’s just not that good.

Others don’t get any useful software. So they have to go round sneaking into other people’s systems and copying their software.

And we all know what it’s like to try and work with pirate software. Pirates become outlaws, outsiders, adrift on the high seas, perhaps feeling to have to fight or steal from others to get what they want!

So where does the therapist come in? Well, I see myself as that Uninistaller programme which you have to buy to help you get rid of that outdated stuff that doesn’t work.

You’ve probably already gone into the System, and clicked on Add and Remove Programs. But there’s a couple of stubborn ones that just won’t move!

I don’t have the answers to how best to run anyone else’s life, my skill is to support them in figuring that out for themselves but with me on their team for a while. I just help people who can’t get into the Operating System.

Having said that, I suppose if I were to sum it up I’d call it not Windows for Dummies, but Life for Dummies!

For those who are unsure about how they came to Be who the Are, here's a word from the Late Kurt Cobain of Nirvana:

......I was spanked all the time. My dad would be in a social situation in restaurants or something, if I spilled a glass of water or something he would get me in a headlock and dig his knuckles into my head or smack me in the face. I never understood that why a parent would be so embarrassed or so intimidated by other people in a restaurant just because your child spilt something by accident to have to punish them for having an accident, that’s a weird psychological trick to play on a child because I still put myself down and cuss myself out for knocking things over I get really upset with myself because I’ve been conditioned to not spill things, don’t have accidents, not to have human error, everything’s supposed to be perfect at all times, f..xxx him for that. (This quote is from an interview available on YouTube.)


Find me on www.clickfortherapy.com